My Son

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Big EyesInto the depths...

I want to tell you a little about my son. First, he is the most special person I know. His name is Sebe, and he is a very talented artist/writer/poet/musician. You can see why I am so proud of him!

Sebe has been sick all of his life. As a child, he had severe asthma and allergies(he still does). He missed thirty days or more every schoolyear except one. In the sixth grade, he developed duodenal ulcers due to the asthma medication he was taking. He missed 65 days of school that year, and still passed with flying colors!

But all of this was beginning to take an emotional toll. I think that Sebe felt that he was different from everyone else on some fundamental level. No matter how normal the rest of the world thought he was, he knew otherwise. It created a deep insecurity within him. He is also a perfectionist, so it was important to him to appear like everyone else. He worked very hard to make this happen. And, for a long time, he succeeded. But, as I said before, it was taking a toll. On the outside, he appeared perfectly normal...he was so good at this, not even his teachers suspected there was anything wrong. On the inside, he was filled with fear.

Toward the end of his sophomore year, he developed an illness that kept him bed-ridden for about two months. At first, the doctors could not find what was wrong. They finally discovered that he had Mono...but, because it had gone undetected for so long, it took longer to recover. Sebe took all of his exams at home. He passed, but it was very difficult. When he began the 11th grade, he got sick within a week. He was hospitalized for two weeks with a respiratory problem. He tried to return to school, but he had missed too much...there was just no way he could catch up. He was devastated. He felt like a loser...

Not too long after this, he developed an anxiety disorder. Well, actually, two of them, but they are quite often grouped together-He has Panic Disorder and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Sword in Lake If you have never known anyone with this type of problem, it is almost impossible to imagine the effects. It steals your independance, along with your dignity. For almost a year, we didn't really know what was going on...things just kept getting worse and worse. By the time we finally got the kind of help that we needed, Sebe had lost about 30 lbs. He was afraid to eat or drink anything unless I did first; he couldn't go anywhere by himself anymore(and this was a kid who had driven from Missssippi to Oklahoma by himself!);he couldn't sleep at night, but was afraid to be up by himself. I learned to eat just the few things he was comfortable eating, to sleep during the day and stay up all night...actually, it was hell. But, as hard as it was for me, it was about a hundred times harder for Sebe.

Once we found the right doctor, and got him on the right medication, the change was unbelievable! These types of disorders are physiological in nature...that means they have a physical basis. They are also hereditary. Unfortunately, medicine does not work for everyone...and it does have a down side. It makes Sebe really sleepy...he sleeps about 12 to 14 hours a day. And he is not cured...there is no cure. But, he has a life again! And, he is very blessed...he is so talented. I know that someday his name will be known...not that that really matters. His most important accomplishment is his attitude...his humanity. Sebe has grown into the type of man I would have chosen for a son, had I been given a choice. I think God must care for me a great deal, to have blessed me so! This is Sebe!


Unfortunately, Sebe will probably never read this, because he doesn't like to think about his illnesses. It makes him very nervous and afraid...his greatest fear is of waking up one day and feeling like he did before. I don't want to give you the wrong impression-Sebe still struggles every day with OCD and feelings of panic...but with the meds he is the boss. And, it really doesn't matter whether he reads this or not...he knows how I proud and thankful I am that he is my son. Spawn Spawn Sebe is like everybody else in this family...he's a collector! He collects movies-he has about 500 of them- and, just recently, he's started collecting Spawn! These figures are based on a comic book character created by Todd McFarlane. They are unbelievably detailed! Another toy that seems to have been made for adults, rather than children! They are truly works of art!! These are some pictures that I found on the, huh?!

VWBeetle This is a gif I found at Draac's...Sebe really wants one of these! For that matter, so do I! Since we can't afford one right now, I thought I'd give him the next best thing! Have fun Sebe!!

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I want to let you read one of Sebe's poems...and I am including links to his website and many other things he enjoys. I hope you will go visit him...I think he'd like that. Oh, and be sure to sign his guestbook while you're there!

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Naughty looks, I take a lick
Concrete hook and I'm floored by desire
Beam A gift from the man
Sing me a song, beat me again
I'm masocist martyr
Looking for a trick, they're swinging from the rope
The men who want my mad little toys
They called us out, puppets at the dance
We swallow, shake and holler
Meantime murder, time's a loose martini
Call the cleaners, the doctor,
the dentist who rock'n'rolls
The lady calls out for rootbeer
"It keeps them out of their wits,
all of them",she shouts
Let's not have the meltdown yet
Wait for the angel's veil to drop
Desire metamorphosis
Different people sort through lines

_Dason Sebastian Crow

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Sebe:The Early Years


Sebe's Links