I want to tell you a little about my son. First, he is
the most special person I know. His name is Sebe, and he is a very talented artist/writer/poet/musician. You can see
why I am so proud of him!
Sebe has been sick all of his life. As a child, he had
severe asthma and allergies(he
still does). He missed
thirty days or more every schoolyear except one. In the
sixth grade, he developed duodenal ulcers due to the asthma medication he was taking. He missed 65 days of school that
year, and still passed with flying colors!
But all of this was beginning to take an emotional toll. I think that Sebe felt that he was different from everyone
else on some fundamental level. No matter how normal the
rest of the world thought he was, he knew otherwise. It
created a deep insecurity within him. He is also a
perfectionist, so it was important to him to appear like
everyone else. He worked very hard to make this happen.
And, for a long time, he succeeded. But, as I said before,
it was taking a toll. On the outside, he appeared perfectly normal...he was so good at this, not even his teachers
suspected there was anything wrong. On the inside, he was
filled with fear.
Toward the end of his sophomore year, he developed an
illness that kept him bed-ridden for about two months. At
first, the doctors could not find what was wrong. They
finally discovered that he had Mono...but, because it had
gone undetected for so long, it took longer to recover.
Sebe
took all of his exams at home. He passed, but it was very
difficult. When he began the 11th grade, he got sick within a week. He was hospitalized for two weeks with a
respiratory problem. He tried to return to school, but he
had missed too much...there was just no way he could catch
up. He was devastated. He felt like a loser...
Not too long after this, he developed an anxiety
disorder. Well, actually, two of them, but they are
quite
often grouped together-He has Panic Disorder and
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.
If you have never known anyone with this type of
problem, it is almost impossible to imagine the
effects. It steals your independance, along with your
dignity. For almost a year, we didn't really know what was
going on...things just kept getting worse and worse. By the time we finally got the kind of help that we needed, Sebe
had lost about 30 lbs. He was afraid to eat or drink
anything unless I did first; he couldn't go anywhere by
himself anymore(and this was a kid who had driven from
Missssippi to Oklahoma by himself!);he couldn't sleep at
night, but was afraid to be up by himself. I learned to eat just the few things he was comfortable eating, to sleep
during the day and stay up all night...actually, it was
hell. But, as hard as it was for me, it was about a hundred times harder for Sebe.
Once we found the right doctor, and got him on the right medication, the change was unbelievable! These types of
disorders are physiological in nature...that means they
have a physical basis. They are also hereditary.
Unfortunately, medicine does not work for everyone...and it does have a down side. It makes Sebe really sleepy...he
sleeps about 12 to 14 hours a day. And he is not
cured...there is no cure. But, he has a life again! And, he is very blessed...he is so talented. I know that someday
his name will be known...not that that really matters. His
most important accomplishment is his attitude...his
humanity. Sebe has grown into the type of man I would have
chosen for a son, had I been given a choice. I think God
must care for me a great deal, to have blessed me so! This is Sebe!
Unfortunately, Sebe will probably never read this,
because he doesn't like to think about his illnesses. It
makes him very nervous and afraid...his greatest fear is of waking up one day and feeling like he did before. I don't
want to give you the wrong impression-Sebe still struggles
every day with OCD and feelings of panic...but with the
meds he is the boss. And, it really doesn't matter whether
he reads this or not...he knows how I feel...how proud and
thankful I am that he is my son.
Sebe is like everybody else in this family...he's a
collector! He collects movies-he has about 500 of them-
and, just recently, he's started collecting Spawn! These
figures are based on a comic book character created by Todd McFarlane. They are unbelievably detailed! Another toy that seems to have been made for adults, rather than children!
They are truly works of art!! These are some pictures that
I found on the web...cool, huh?!
This is a gif I found at Draac's...Sebe really wants one of these! For that matter, so do I! Since we can't afford one
right now, I thought I'd give him the next best thing! Have fun Sebe!!
